6 Simples Ways to Be a Better Mother
While being pregnant, it seemed as if everyone and their mother were giving advice on how to take care of yourself and your unborn child. But nobody ever really warned us of the days where we would be pulling our hair out and arguing with our daughters.
Parenthood is no easy feat, let me tell ya. I’m only a mom to two girls and for a long time, I did it by myself. I didn’t get “sick days” and still don’t. However, my support system is 10x bigger than it was 4 years ago. My daughters are 5 & 7 and have a larger than life personality. Some days I’m a queen running a big ol ship. Other days I plant my kids outside or with activity. Okay, okay. TV time, too. All about balance baby ;). Let’s face it though. Kids can be assholes and run our sanity dry. But they mean well and sometimes those draining meltdowns are their known form of communicating with us “grown-ups”
Let’s face it, we all want to be a better mother, so if you’re looking for a little mom-to-mom advice than keep reading for a list of ways to be that mom you’ve always wanted to be.
Be In the Moment
It’s inevitable not to silently compare your life to some other mom you see on the playground. Every mom is different and every parenting way is different. If you’re constantly worrying about how OTHERS portray you as a mom, stop right now because you’re doing it all wrong. You see, there’s no handbook on how to be the “perfect mom”. But don’t you dare take what others say personally.
I learned a long time ago that that’s a great way to throw yourself into a little depression funk. My advice? Be in the moment with your child. Be present and offer affection. Kids thrive off that. Like I always tell my mom girlfriends, if you provide and keep a roof over your family, you’re already ahead of most.
COMMUNICATION l BREATHING
It’s okay to feel like the ground is crumbling beneath you and you’re ready to pack your bags and disappear for the weekend. Uninterrupted. However, that’s not possible for most of us. So, take a step back, collect your thoughts and breathe. Count to 10 if need be. Yelling back at your kids won’t show the results you want, and if they do, it won’t be for very long. You see, when a child screams at us it’s their way of communicating that something isn’t right with them and it’s our job to instill the appropriate way of communication. If they hear us as parents screaming to get our voices heard, it only makes sense that they will do the same. They follow every bit of what we say or do.
ASK FOR HELP
Asking for help may not be an option as your support circle may be small or it’s solely you, ask. For. Help. What if you don’t have a support system? If no one is willing to help you, seek out help. Find child care for a few hours a week. There are many programs that will also ASSIST IN THE COST OF DAYCARE! ( look into it as every state is different)
SPEND ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH YOUR KIDS
One of my all-time favorite things to do with my daughters is to be outside with them. This past winter was hard on my inner depression so if I found myself feeling too cooped up or like I wanted to sleep all day every day, I forced myself to sit my happy ass outside for at least 20 minutes. Something about the fresh air to reset your chaotic mindset. Now that the weather is getting nicer here in Maine, it’s easier to be outside. Try to get outside with your little ones. Break them away from their tablets and YouTube shows and introduces them to Red Rover, kickball, Marco Polo, etc. Teach them what our childhood was like, but better.
It’s easy to get lost in the land of taking care of your family and putting the needs of them waaaaay before yours. That’s why it’s super important to practice self-care. Start small. Find the time, stop making excuses, and take a warm (or hot) bath. Soak there for as long as you can.
Go shopping-buy that bag; wear that bright red lipstick. Do something for yourself each week + make yourself feel accomplished. It’s important to take care of our family, but it’s impossible to do so from an empty cup. Self-care is a great way to improve self-confidence as well.
I have a challenge for you. Instead of walking around looking at the ground, smile at each person you walk by. You’ll be surprised at how differently people react to you when you’re not in constant resting bitch face mode.
When you’re feeling down, remember this quote
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.”